:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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