Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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