Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
