It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
