I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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