I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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