you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
