Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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