Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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