If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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