if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize