so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
God, I missed his penis.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
