He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
