Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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