So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
