Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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