her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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