there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
