Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize