So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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