Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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