East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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