We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
