one two three fourrrrnication!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
