Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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