A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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