I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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