I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
