the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize