So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
