someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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