Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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