Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
