And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
