tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
