its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
