I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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