i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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