the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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