I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize