we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
