i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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