why didn't you poke me back
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
