yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize