I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Nicole vs. Life
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
