I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
