even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
