i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
