new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
