She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
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