i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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