So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
