Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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