I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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