My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
