I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
