The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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