i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
