bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
