Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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