Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
