so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she smelled like a LAN party
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
