I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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