Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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