I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
