I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
