Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
