At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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