And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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