Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
