i think i have herpe
just one?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
