her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
