Can Purell be used as lube?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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