people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she told me i tasted like america
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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