He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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