I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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