when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he shaved USA in his pubs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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