i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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