he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
